Dialectics: Selflessness and Love

While watching the film Once in class, we discussed much about the selflessness and caring that the guy had for the girl. So much so that he took it beyond your typical love story: he let her go. Some people may think that to love someone you must always be attached to them, etc, etc. But one thing we focused a lot on was loving someone was doing the best for their needs. It's realizing that it's not just about you; it's what's best for the other person too. We talked a lot about this while discussing what the film taught us about love. The girl put her family first and did what was best for her daughter, not for her. In turn, the guy did this for the girl by letting her go and do what was right for her. Also, he did so especially through the piano. He met her needs and gave her a piece of him and their memories.

So, while we may watch many sappy love movies where everyone must pursue every means possible to be together in the end and whatnot, those don't get at the other side of love, selflessness. By doing what's best for someone else, you are showing that you understand them and care for their happiness more. And as people realize this, this idea can be reciprocated. So, perhaps if you do something better for someone, another person may come along and do something for you. In the girl's case, because she gave up her wantings for her daughter, the guy, who realized this aspect, had done something for her too, because he loved her. It's important to see the dialectic between love and selflessness so that every relationship isn't forced with someone pushing their way through to get what they want, but to compromise and want to see the other happy.